The Flat Pack Tractor

It's true. Here it is: the flatpack tractor. We spent the weekend at one of my sister-in-law's in Cornwall, and they take the Smallholder magazine. I always love reading about other peoples' chickens etc, so dived in, and found the Flatpack Tractor.

I just hope it has more comprehensible instructions than some flat packs I've dealt with in my life. Like most of the UK population, I've done my share of trawling round the hellhole that is Ikea (but gave up some years ago - I don't care how cheap it is. Being surrounded by other peoples' miserable, bawling kids who would rather be anywhere else other than there is vile, and I'm not going to do it anymore.)

Apparently there are 10 different construction tasks for the tractor, each of which should take an hour. I suppose this is the sort of thing you're not going to buy if you're the average hopeless goop who doesn't know how to use a screwdriver, but all the same, I'd love to know how they arrived at their 1 hour time. Presumably it's an average, which means some people must have spent much, much longer....

Rather sadly, there is a bit of me that would quite like to have a go at building one. A tractor would undeniably be handy about the place and stop us having to hunt around for contractors who can negotiate the evil corner between our stables and someone else's barn conversion (ok for horse-drawn and Fergies, but not for today's agricultural monsters.) My stepfather did briefly keep his useless Fergie in our yard (here is a picture of one) but unlike the one in the picture, which is doing a useful job of work his was a complete waste of space. It only worked first time once that I remember, during which time it managed to move some fence posts before it died. The amount of time and cosseting it took to get going was mammoth: the last time, before I stopped believing that it would ever be any use, my stepfather offered to help with moving the muck down to the garden. I had filled the trailer with muck, myself, by hand by the time the machine deigned to graunch into life, after which I went off it rather.

If by some miracle I ever acquire one of these flatpack things (on a scale of 1-10 I'd put it at about 1) I'll let you know how the construction goes.


Unknown said…
Wow ! Flatpack tractors ! That's got to be one of the biggest Meccano sets ever.
Jane Badger said…
It just looks like fun to me. But then I am sad...

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